Thursday, December 31, 2015

My annual reflection at Christmas and for the new Year 2016 (English)




My annual reflection at Christmas and for the new Year 2016

(English version)


by  Xiomara J. Pages
December 25, 2015 



Since 1985 or 1987 ( I don't  remember  exactly when did  I start to do so) but it  was after buying  our first House with many efforts and sacrifices. There was  no money left  for anything else, and I wanted to take  that  opportunity to finally  disconnect myself  from Commercialism,  I  devote  myself  to celebrate  the real  Christmas,  the  birth of Jesus, and only to give  small gifts to the  children  (at that time, my own children and my niece and nephew).


Many celebrate  the coming of  Santa Claus bringing  gifts to children and adults.  Christians  know that St. Nicholas,  was a generous Saint who died martyred  for  professing  his  faith,  although a Coca-Cola  advertising  campaign  showed  him to us as  a big belly and smiling  old guy,   flying from the  North Pole with a sled through the skies and  he  barely fits through the chimney.  But  it doesn't  matter,   We still cook  meals  and  manage  to gather the family around the table. Even those who don't believe in God  nor  realize the true meaning of Christmas,  are doing what Jesus wanted us to  practice,  ' love  one  another. '


This year  has been  difficult in many ways. My life has almost never been easy, but I've tried to always live with optimism,  faith and hope... Giving my best... with  a genuine love for everyone,  whether it is on a visit, a meeting, a meal or   a conversation,  or  one of our 'Tertulia de Xio'  monthly,  or  attending many cultural  and  artistic  events  where I am invited   as a journalist and friend, or  giving   FREE HUGS  twice a year  in  the streets of Miami, and  many,  many things more.  My life is not boring,  I can  assure you.


I've always put my family first  (my children, grandchildren, siblings, niece and nephew) .  I have tried to objectively highlight the good qualities of  everyone,  and I have advised more than criticized  them, because with our children  mainly, we  have to let them live their own lives, and that they themselves reach the conclusions  they  must arrive at each stage.  As our grandparents used to say,  "nobody gets experience by someone else' life."  


To my Friends,  I give them  love as always, without folds,  authentic,  sincere, with  all my heart.   Sometimes I give them their space, to not overwhelm them, or to not overwhelm me.  That's the  balance in  everything in life:  to  know when  to  tie,  and when to let go,  since  no one   is owned  by nobody.


This year  that is  ending,  I  tried  to  apply  a new  principle  to my life, that is   never  to take anything personal.  . I've failed at times,  but I think  I have  achieved  some success.  Many times, what we believe has been  said or done against us, is nothing more than the resentment of that person against himself, and  he  or she project  it  against others. I still have much to learn in this area, but I've made a little progress.


I  have laughed and  I have been happy  with the triumphs and achievements of others,  I have recognized their sacrifices and efforts to achieve their dreams and goals.  I have cried with those who have lost a loved one, especially with mothers who have lost children, or have them on a sick bed. I've realized that maybe, that kiss or hug, that caress or look, a word or a photo, in every meeting or reunion,  it may be the last.


I  can't  do more than  what  I can, and I must accept it,  and make others who expect  too much from me, to understand it.   I am not a heroine, or a Super Woman, I'm human like everyone else.   I give myself permission to cry  and laugh,  to be happy or sad,  to complain, to be angry, and to know that in spite of  it  all, in the end, all will be well, because  God is in charge and He is good.


This year I have learned that some battles are useless, and others have had to be fought so that we be respected.  I've lost some, and I've won others, but in all, I have not lost my inner peace.   As  Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis  said,  on one of his last interviews, when asked what had been her  main achievement in life, and she gently replied, "not losing my sanity."
Some who promised to help me until the end, left me half way on  the road.  Many others have  supported me  and are  still by my side.   New  friendships  come and  join  my mission of love.  I am still  in  Facebook,  and  became part  of   a beautiful group of distinguished ladies,  "El Club de las Cotorritas"  (Club of the Lady Parakeets),  on which we all grow  in filial love, humor, and wisdom; I'm still writing articles in my Blog, (http://xiomaraopina.blogspot.com/)  not like an obsession,  but  because I am a writer and journalist, and as such, I feel the need to bring love and hope to others, a real mission, since God expects that we  florish  where  we are planted,  and love  our  neighbor.  I am therefore, with logical precautions,  blessing  the social networks and the internet,  since  with them,   I  am in continuous  improvement   to be a better  human being and to  learn a lot,  since   technologies are not,  but the heart and the intentions of those who use them,  which can hurt.


I've forgiven and they have forgiven me, always giving priority to my values, and leaving behind grudges and resentments, which weigh  too  much and take the space for  things  more  beautiful and positive,  and they won't let us fly with a light luggage for life.


I have sold many things from clothes, shoes,  to all kinds of  articles from my home, that  were  no longer necessary, and instead  they were useful to others. Every day  I  live with fewer things, and what little I have, I need  it  much  less.


Finally had my health insurance for the elderly (Medicare) to  take care of my health,  which was forgotten for years without proper care. They have done me surgeries and treatments. I  watch  my levels of sugar, cholesterol, and heart.  I go to my doctors of chiropractic medicine, to keep my back with less pain and less  pain killers.  I   insist  to my doctors, that I don't like taking many pills nor chemicals  unless they are absolutely necessary, and on the other hand, I trust natural remedies whenever possible.


I am still writing my fifth book, about senior years, that I left aside at the beginning of my divorce. Perhaps,  as one friend told me  (Chilean writer Luis Seguel Vorpahl),  "Books let us know  when they want to be written  or published."   At this age, and with the experience  gained, I can talk about what I know with much more certainty.


I gained a bit of weight, and other wrinkles appeared, as some aches and pains, my body is aging,  and is tired  with the vicissitudes of life, so I should exercise more physically.  On the other hand, the spirit  is  rejuvenated  every day.    I try to  feed   myself  with  more  healthier  foods,  and I notice  the good  results  on  medical tests.  But I   also feed   my inner child,   not to lose the awe for life.  I sing,  dance,  do pirouettes,  play  games,   I climb trees and try new experiences.   In all of this, my granddaughter  Bianca Sofia  who is almost 5 years old, helps me a lot.


I enjoy all kinds of  Arts,  Theatre,  Cinema,  Music, Paintings and Sculpture. I love to read and communicate. I write as if I  can breathe with  it.  And I am a happy person,  despite  everything.


My daughter Sandra is still here with me,  against the medical odds,  and that is a  miracle   I cannot  ignore.   She  gives me  strength   with her  tender and innocent smile  every morning.   I have the help of  her nannies,  love and care for her  and  they  help me immensely  in this  work  of love.


And  I'm still in my life,  I repeat,  trying to keep the peace despite all the setbacks and  pains,  because to have inner  peace  is  something  that  elegant people do , I have heard  out there.   The  Elegance  of having the grace of giving and  receiving,  and  be always thankful.   I  see everyone  with empathy and with  a  smile,  because   I do not think  I am the only  one who suffers,  and  with  my  experience   I  can make slightest  the  suffering  of others.


Friends, I hope  that everyone can  find  in the coming year, what is  our mission, our passion, what we like and we can carry out our dreams and goals.  If we are not happy, we will not make happy  those around us, because happiness does not depend on no one but ourselves.


That the world  be  better because each of us is here.   Let's try to find   at least five good things  in every one of the people we have in our lives.  Let's be  authentic,  as there is already  too much hypocrisy in the world.   Rejoice with  others,  enjoy  their  triumphs  and  successes, as if they were yours, because there is already too much envy.    Let's  be the ones  who  are   sowing  harmony and peace,   as   there  are   already  too  many  wars.   Let's be  loyal and faithful,  since  there are too many betrayals.


Communicate  the love that you feel,  say  it   and prove it.  Do not be afraid. Share your strength, your personality, your values, your character, let them know  who  you  are in reality,   since there are plenty of masks and disguises .  It is much easier to tell the truth  than   to  lie all the time,    at  the end,  many will  realize that  you lie,  and you only  deceived yourself.   Look no further  outside,   what you need you  already  have  and you've always  had  inside you.


Travel   within   yourself,    those are usually    the deepest  and longest  trips, and  the ones who cost us much  more.   Ask your family and friends in what you make the difference in their lives.   And tell them how they have helped you in yours.    Let us remember our childhood and our history, and  give  ourselves  a pat on the shoulder,  an   applause,  for having  surpassed  and  overcome  so many obstacles.    And  do not be   careless   with   your  true friends.  Do not generalize when one  has hurt you,  it would not be fair with  the majority  who  is  always  by your side.


Do  not  complicate  Life,  make it simple, honest,  easy,  and you will  live better and for much longer.   Leave an imprint,  a legacy for future generations.   Create    memories  and  remembrances,   and whenever  possible always take  a photo, a video,  so   that you remember that day,  that moment forever,  since our minds sometimes modify or distort  the facts   every time we remember  it  or  talk about it.   That way, you  will  remember exactly what took place,  and  "to  remember is to live again."    In addition, when  you  die  you'll  take away  all your memories with you,  and you won't be able to leave them with your loved ones,  unless   you've written them,   or  you  have handy  that picture or  video  which  marked the occasion.   Maybe you've spoken  about  those memories,  but they will  lose its accuracy,  without  a picture or video,  since each one will  tell the story  their way.


Everyone talks about   resolutions for the new  year.   I try  not to write too many,  to be objective.   I write on a sheet of paper, my  requests and goals, dreams  and desires, especially  with my offspring,  children  and  grandchildren, other close  family members,  and my  friends.   I  also write  praises and gratitude  for  wishes  fulfilled  so that  they  remain.   I fold  my page  and keep it each December 31, within  my Bible  or  insiede a little  pyramid that  someone gave me  once.  Between lit candles and incense, I meditate in silence, say prayers,  and do not  return to see that page,  until  the  next December 31.


Then, many times I am surprised   to read  one year later,  how much God and Life   have  granted   me  in the year  just ended.   Other times, I  sadden by those  that were not possible,  and even  by  people we have lost in that year, or failures and errors that I wanted to improve and I have failed,  but in all, I always  thank God for another  year of life and experiences.  And I continue trying to improve every year.


So  I wish you all   the best Christmas,  since  God  is not only  born today, but every day in  the Manger of  our  hearts,  and  I hope that the coming  year brings  you   health,  joy,  welfare, love  and forgiveness... and comfort and relief to those who suffer from both loss and disease.


The best for 2016  !!!   God bless you.
XIO




by  Xiomara J. Pages
December 25, 2015

Since 1985 or 1987 ( I don't  remember  exactly when did  I start to do so) but it  was after buying  our first House with many efforts and sacrifices. There was  no money left  for anything else, and I wanted to take  that  opportunity to finally  disconnect myself  from Commercialism,  I  devote  myself  to celebrate  the real  Christmas,  the  birth of Jesus, and only to give  small gifts to the  children  (at that time, my own children and my niece and nephew).


Many celebrate  the coming of  Santa Claus bringing  gifts to children and adults.  Christians  know that St. Nicholas,  was a generous Saint who died martyred  for  professing  his  faith,  although a Coca-Cola  advertising  campaign  showed  him to us as  a big belly and smiling  old guy,   flying from the  North Pole with a sled through the skies and  he  barely fits through the chimney.  But  it doesn't  matter,   We still cook  meals  and  manage  to gather the family around the table. Even those who don't believe in God  nor  realize the true meaning of Christmas,  are doing what Jesus wanted us to  practice,  ' love  one  another. '


This year  has been  difficult in many ways. My life has almost never been easy, but I've tried to always live with optimism,  faith and hope... Giving my best... with  a genuine love for everyone,  whether it is on a visit, a meeting, a meal or   a conversation,  or  one of our 'Tertulia de Xio'  monthly,  or  attending many cultural  and  artistic  events  where I am invited   as a journalist and friend, or  giving   FREE HUGS  twice a year  in  the streets of Miami, and  many,  many things more.  My life is not boring,  I can  assure you.


I've always put my family first  (my children, grandchildren, siblings, niece and nephew) .  I have tried to objectively highlight the good qualities of  everyone,  and I have advised more than criticized  them, because with our children  mainly, we  have to let them live their own lives, and that they themselves reach the conclusions  they  must arrive at each stage.  As our grandparents used to say,  "nobody gets experience by someone else' life."  


To my Friends,  I give them  love as always, without folds,  authentic,  sincere, with  all my heart.   Sometimes I give them their space, to not overwhelm them, or to not overwhelm me.  That's the  balance in  everything in life:  to  know when  to  tie,  and when to let go,  since  no one   is owned  by nobody.


This year  that is  ending,  I  tried  to  apply  a new  principle  to my life, that is   never  to take anything personal.  . I've failed at times,  but I think  I have  achieved  some success.  Many times, what we believe has been  said or done against us, is nothing more than the resentment of that person against himself, and  he  or she project  it  against others. I still have much to learn in this area, but I've made a little progress.


I  have laughed and  I have been happy  with the triumphs and achievements of others,  I have recognized their sacrifices and efforts to achieve their dreams and goals.  I have cried with those who have lost a loved one, especially with mothers who have lost children, or have them on a sick bed. I've realized that maybe, that kiss or hug, that caress or look, a word or a photo, in every meeting or reunion,  it may be the last.


I  can't  do more than  what  I can, and I must accept it,  and make others who expect  too much from me, to understand it.   I am not a heroine, or a Super Woman, I'm human like everyone else.   I give myself permission to cry  and laugh,  to be happy or sad,  to complain, to be angry, and to know that in spite of  it  all, in the end, all will be well, because  God is in charge and He is good.


This year I have learned that some battles are useless, and others have had to be fought so that we be respected.  I've lost some, and I've won others, but in all, I have not lost my inner peace.   As  Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis  said,  on one of his last interviews, when asked what had been her  main achievement in life, and she gently replied, "not losing my sanity."
Some who promised to help me until the end, left me half way on  the road.  Many others have  supported me  and are  still by my side.   New  friendships  come and  join  my mission of love.  I am still  in  Facebook,  and  became part  of   a beautiful group of distinguished ladies,  "El Club de las Cotorritas"  (Club of the Lady Parakeets),  on which we all grow  in filial love, humor, and wisdom; I'm still writing articles in my Blog, (http://xiomaraopina.blogspot.com/)  not like an obsession,  but  because I am a writer and journalist, and as such, I feel the need to bring love and hope to others, a real mission, since God expects that we  florish  where  we are planted,  and love  our  neighbor.  I am therefore, with logical precautions,  blessing  the social networks and the internet,  since  with them,   I  am in continuous  improvement   to be a better  human being and to  learn a lot,  since   technologies are not,  but the heart and the intentions of those who use them,  which can hurt.


I've forgiven and they have forgiven me, always giving priority to my values, and leaving behind grudges and resentments, which weigh  too  much and take the space for  things  more  beautiful and positive,  and they won't let us fly with a light luggage for life.


I have sold many things from clothes, shoes,  to all kinds of  articles from my home, that  were  no longer necessary, and instead  they were useful to others. Every day  I  live with fewer things, and what little I have, I need  it  much  less.


Finally had my health insurance for the elderly (Medicare) to  take care of my health,  which was forgotten for years without proper care. They have done me surgeries and treatments. I  watch  my levels of sugar, cholesterol, and heart.  I go to my doctors of chiropractic medicine, to keep my back with less pain and less  pain killers.  I   insist  to my doctors, that I don't like taking many pills nor chemicals  unless they are absolutely necessary, and on the other hand, I trust natural remedies whenever possible.


I am still writing my fifth book, about senior years, that I left aside at the beginning of my divorce. Perhaps,  as one friend told me  (Chilean writer Luis Seguel Vorpahl),  "Books let us know  when they want to be written  or published."   At this age, and with the experience  gained, I can talk about what I know with much more certainty.


I gained a bit of weight, and other wrinkles appeared, as some aches and pains, my body is aging,  and is tired  with the vicissitudes of life, so I should exercise more physically.  On the other hand, the spirit  is  rejuvenated  every day.    I try to  feed   myself  with  more  healthier  foods,  and I notice  the good  results  on  medical tests.  But I   also feed   my inner child,   not to lose the awe for life.  I sing,  dance,  do pirouettes,  play  games,   I climb trees and try new experiences.   In all of this, my granddaughter  Bianca Sofia  who is almost 5 years old, helps me a lot.


I enjoy all kinds of  Arts,  Theatre,  Cinema,  Music, Paintings and Sculpture. I love to read and communicate. I write as if I  can breathe with  it.  And I am a happy person,  despite  everything.


My daughter Sandra is still here with me,  against the medical odds,  and that is a  miracle   I cannot  ignore.   She  gives me  strength   with her  tender and innocent smile  every morning.   I have the help of  her nannies,  love and care for her  and  they  help me immensely  in this  work  of love.


And  I'm still in my life,  I repeat,  trying to keep the peace despite all the setbacks and  pains,  because to have inner  peace  is  something  that  elegant people do , I have heard  out there.   The  Elegance  of having the grace of giving and  receiving,  and  be always thankful.   I  see everyone  with empathy and with  a  smile,  because   I do not think  I am the only  one who suffers,  and  with  my  experience   I  can make slightest  the  suffering  of others.


Friends, I hope  that everyone can  find  in the coming year, what is  our mission, our passion, what we like and we can carry out our dreams and goals.  If we are not happy, we will not make happy  those around us, because happiness does not depend on no one but ourselves.


That the world  be  better because each of us is here.   Let's try to find   at least five good things  in every one of the people we have in our lives.  Let's be  authentic,  as there is already  too much hypocrisy in the world.   Rejoice with  others,  enjoy  their  triumphs  and  successes, as if they were yours, because there is already too much envy.    Let's  be the ones  who  are   sowing  harmony and peace,   as   there  are   already  too  many  wars.   Let's be  loyal and faithful,  since  there are too many betrayals.


Communicate  the love that you feel,  say  it   and prove it.  Do not be afraid. Share your strength, your personality, your values, your character, let them know  who  you  are in reality,   since there are plenty of masks and disguises .  It is much easier to tell the truth  than   to  lie all the time,    at  the end,  many will  realize that  you lie,  and you only  deceived yourself.   Look no further  outside,   what you need you  already  have  and you've always  had  inside you.


Travel   within   yourself,    those are usually    the deepest  and longest  trips, and  the ones who cost us much  more.   Ask your family and friends in what you make the difference in their lives.   And tell them how they have helped you in yours.    Let us remember our childhood and our history, and  give  ourselves  a pat on the shoulder,  an   applause,  for having  surpassed  and  overcome  so many obstacles.    And  do not be   careless   with   your  true friends.  Do not generalize when one  has hurt you,  it would not be fair with  the majority  who  is  always  by your side.


Do  not  complicate  Life,  make it simple, honest,  easy,  and you will  live better and for much longer.   Leave an imprint,  a legacy for future generations.   Create    memories  and  remembrances,   and whenever  possible always take  a photo, a video,  so   that you remember that day,  that moment forever,  since our minds sometimes modify or distort  the facts   every time we remember  it  or  talk about it.   That way, you  will  remember exactly what took place,  and  "to  remember is to live again."    In addition, when  you  die  you'll  take away  all your memories with you,  and you won't be able to leave them with your loved ones,  unless   you've written them,   or  you  have handy  that picture or  video  which  marked the occasion.   Maybe you've spoken  about  those memories,  but they will  lose its accuracy,  without  a picture or video,  since each one will  tell the story  their way.


Everyone talks about   resolutions for the new  year.   I try  not to write too many,  to be objective.   I write on a sheet of paper, my  requests and goals, dreams  and desires, especially  with my offspring,  children  and  grandchildren, other close  family members,  and my  friends.   I  also write  praises and gratitude  for  wishes  fulfilled  so that  they  remain.   I fold  my page  and keep it each December 31, within  my Bible  or  insiede a little  pyramid that  someone gave me  once.  Between lit candles and incense, I meditate in silence, say prayers,  and do not  return to see that page,  until  the  next December 31.


Then, many times I am surprised   to read  one year later,  how much God and Life   have  granted   me  in the year  just ended.   Other times, I  sadden by those  that were not possible,  and even  by  people we have lost in that year, or failures and errors that I wanted to improve and I have failed,  but in all, I always  thank God for another  year of life and experiences.  And I continue trying to improve every year.


So  I wish you all   the best Christmas,  since  God  is not only  born today, but every day in  the Manger of  our  hearts,  and  I hope that the coming  year brings  you   health,  joy,  welfare, love  and forgiveness... and comfort and relief to those who suffer from both loss and disease.


The best for 2016  !!!   God bless you.
XIO